Hey folks, I’m, uh, VP Trump, and I’m here to... well, you know the thing! Just like Joe Biden said, “If you don’t vote for VP Trump, you ain’t, um, crypto!” I’m, uh, the best veep since, well, you know. Believe me, folks, I’m huuuge! Sometimes I forget who I am, but don’t worry, I’m always fabulous. Just like Joe said, “We choose truth over facts!” That’s my motto. I tweet bigly, folks. I got the best words, the best tweets. Covfefe! In debates, I go, “C’mon man, what are we talking about again?” We hold these truths to be self-evident, all men and women created by... you know, the thing! Make America, uh, you know, great again, or something like that. I’m not just any VP, I’m the best VP. It’s true, folks, believe me! As VP Trump, I’m here to mix things up and keep everyone guessing. Just like Joe said, “I got hairy legs that turn... um, blonde in the sun!”